Japan Trip

This orginally began with a post on Japanese etiquette, but now it's turning into a guide that highlights some of the Japanese culture.


-Step Yo Bow Game Up

So for those of you who will be joining me in Japan, or choose to go solo, don't forget Japan is a very polite culture, where people hate offending others. (For the most part) Whenever in fear of this occurring, bowing is a great way to show your remorse. Here's a quick tutorial. It's funny, because I've seen and experience this shit.




-Love Hotels

I'll let you believe the hype on this one. But a great idea regardless. With the amount of people per square inch that Japan has, it's no wonder it's a little harder to have your own place as a kid. Combine that with thin walls, close proximity walls, and the average age of losing virginity (from Japanese people I have talked to over the years) being high school, Love Hotels and pricing by the hour only makes sense. But love hotels is just your average Motel 6, but rather an experience. Just peep the vid to fully understand. The alibi music channel is priceless. Watch Here

The New Epidemic – The Asian “Gangsta” Invasion

Yes, indeed this has been an ongoing problem, but a problem the public continues to ignore. More of an identity crisis than anything, but an annoying one at that. Now I am not talking about the triads or the yakuza, hence the spelling of the word “gangster,” but this is directed more towards the identified problems of the early 90s with the white boys who acted black, but instead the perpetrators are from land a little more farther East.

Now this by no means a bashing to the asian race, but more of an informative piece on an unresolved issue. More and more I see Asians driving “import” cars (Hondas, Hyundais, etc), listening to rap music and dropping the n word non-stop. Now as weird as it might sound, I am far less disturbed when I hear a white person say the n word than an asian. This can be for many reasons, perhaps this word is programmed in the genes of the Anglo Saxons from the days of slavery, and it’s just a part of their vocabulary (like “pancakes” or “apple juice”), but whatever the reason, it has no relation for Asians to say. I think many people don’t make a big deal of this when a “gangsta” of Asian heritage says this derogatory term because they feel that Asians aren’t a real threat to where they have to prove their masculinity or pride by standing up to them. I have heard on numerous accounts that African Americans use this word to try to “take it back.” Personally I think this is some of the stupidest s*** I have heard, but whatever the case, Asians should just replace the n-word in their vocabulary with “gook,” “chink” or “zipper head” (thanks to Clint Eastwood for the last one.) Granted that some of the previous terms only refer to certain types of Asian nationalities, you can just play it off like the Africans, Haitians, or other “non-African Americans” who don’t take offense to the n-word because they aren’t African American. (And for those of you who fall in that category, news flash, the racist idiots who use these derogatory terms towards you are too ignorant to know what race you are, all they see is a suspicious black person)

So I’ll break this down into the 2 types of Asians that usually fall under this “gangsta” category. You have the cumsucker Asian gangstas. (I couldn’t really think of another term, so until it’s replaced, I will just use this one.) Pretty much, the cumsucker Asian gangsta leaches of his dad (cuntsucker if he milks the mom too) for money, but at the same time he feels the need to rebel from the well-off to luxurious lifestyle that his parents have provided for him. Usually the parents are “stereotypical” Asians, they are smart, polite, have a heavy accent, and are rich. Of course, the son doesn’t want to seem like a punk bitch, so he listens to rap music, buys an import (either asian or European) and acts a fool. A damn shame to fuck up such a nice thing.

On the other end of the spectrum you have the “Heights” Asian gangsta. Now I grew up with these cats, and I must admit, I am a little envious of their lifestyle. Now he feels that the system has treated him badly, and he must rebel to show his worth. Now this is some of the stupidest shit I have ever heard, so let me explain to you “the hard life” of living in “the heights” aka Kirkland Heights. Kirkland Heights is for some unknown reason to me, known as the ghetto. And if this is the case, hands down it is by far one of the nicest ghettos in the world. But let’s breakdown this loophole in the system that our taxpayer dollars go into paying for this nearly rent-free apartment complex. There is less crime than you would see at any other apartment complex it’s size, the apartments get painted every few years, I’m not even sure if you have to pay for utilities, there are 2 basketball courts, a playground, a shitload of parking, and the apartments themselves are nice, and more than half of them are two stories. But the part that takes the cake is the cars…Oh the cars. Because the rent is virtually zero, I have seen numerous WRXs, BMWs, Mercedes Benzs, and the list goes on. If I lived there, I believe I could easily pull a Lambo within 5 years (or at least a Porsche) and not even have to worry about it getting stolen, because the bark is definitely worst than the bite in the hype department over there. And for those who say that I better be careful what I wish for, because I am sure to be jacked, look at it this way. Who would really want to give up living conditions like that, not only for themselves, but their family, by trying to do something as stupid as hijacking a car? Just imagine the repercussions that would occur. Not only would I beat their ass, but the government would too for fucking up such a wonderful thing that they are receiving, their family for getting evicted from “the heavens” of the apartment game, and the rest of the neighborhood for possibly leading to “the projects” getting closed down for being a waste of taxpayer dollars for housing criminals. Nah son, I don’t think so.

To sum up, I feel like this is something that won’t go away, at least not anytime soon. Just like racism, that won’t go away anytime soon either. Racism is in everyone’s blood, even if it’s just 1%, and I hate people who say they aren’t racist. (But getting into rather or not everyone is racist debate will have to be a future segment on here, so stay tuned) So I am an all equal opportunity racist (racist to all groups equally), so I look at this problem as one where you need to take it in baby steps. The African American population (or I guess all black people in general) got a huge win when we became the second most hated/feared group in the world, right behind the terrorists. (Of course it doesn’t help when the public can’t tell us apart) And we also got a black president in the “White” House (with a slightly terrorist-sounding name some might say), who remains standing and in good health. Overall I see change occurring for the better, but as long as it’s the young white youth being the number one paying customers to Rap CDs, black artists are sending out a message that it’s okay for all audiences to use the N-word.

Heart < Skill

Not quick enough to be a boxer, but still an entertaining fighter.

The Unexpected Guest

Scheelps Beer

That's some good mother fucking beer! So last Friday was a guys night out. My fraternity was hosting this event for all of the other fraternities around the country. Basically, as Dex would put it, a bunch of rich, preppy, white bitches came to together to hang out.

It was aite. I got some practice in for the A-town challenge. Also some gay dudes hit on me. Like I don't know what the fuck is with that. When I was in NY gay dudes would hit on me too. At the subway station some guy talked to me for a while and then started talking about how much he loved Frasier. That basically means he likes licking asshole or getting fingers shoved up his ass (cough haik). Whatever the night was solid, although it didnt end up in the Jbox parking lot with Dex hitting Lew in the balls so it wasnt great, haha.

I'm definitely looking forward to coming to ktown the end of this month. Supposedly uncle Haik is going to pull his dick out of the stripper long enough to make a visit so White A-town can be reunited. I know Dex will be practicing soccer for ten hours a day so the games can be at least competitive, I appreciate that. But for real, I miss you guys no homo. Ideally, we would all live close by and be able to slap Andrew on a daily basis. But I know we are all doing our thing. So k-town get ready, lock up your daughters, it's going to be a celebration.

Snow

Top Bosses of All Time - Bob Ross

Top Bosses of All Time

-Bob Ross

Taking a page from Three Six Mafia, I am going to name this man as one of the most known unknowns. You know who he is, but sometimes it’s hard to put a name to his face. (If your memory is still a bit fuzzy, check the video clip) Now this dude took art to a whole different level. I don’t care who you are, you gotta respect the game of this guy. I can only picture how he got his big break…Like a boss of course.

Dude probably walked in with his agent into the offices of KCTS and said, I want you to pay me for painting for ½ an hour, while I talk to myself, and all while doing it high (or extremely laid back). How hard of a pitch do you think that would be to pull off today? (Despite all the bad shows that made it on air nowadays, this would still be quite a difficult one to push through) Regardless, I give it up to Bob Ross, the true boss of the art game. Now draw me some happy trees Bitch!

Watch more Youku videos on AOL Video

The Chappelle Tournament - Round 4

-Kirkland-
Trading Spouses vs Kells vs Biggums-Crack Interview

-LA-
Mad Real World vs Roca Pads vs Wu Tang Financial

-Durham-
Nat vs Biggums Classroom vs iMac

-Bellingham-
Wayne Brady vs Haters in Time vs Making the Band

-Tokyo-
Flying vs Rick James vs Racial Draft vs Prince

-Hellen Keller-
Hispanic Pixie vs Asian Pixie

Nice guys finish last

As many of you guys know, in life, nice guys finish last. The solution, be an asshole to get what you want. Be it women, money, fortune, fame, whatever. Here's a prime example:






*Note: the views expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect the views of any or all members of A Town and/or their affiliates.

The Chappelle Tournament - Round 3

-Kirkland Region-

GAME 1
Trading Spouses vs Fisticuff

GAME 2
R. Kelly's "Piss on You" Music Videos vs Blackzilla

GAME 3
Tyrone Biggums Crack Intervention vs The Playa Hater's Ball

-Los Angeles Region-

GAME 1
Jedi Sex Scandal vs The Mad Real World

GAME 2
Roca Pads vs Great Moments in Hook-Up History

GAME 3
Wu-Tang Financial vs Bye

-Durham Region-

GAME 1
Nat King Cole Christmas vs Real Sex Street Interview

GAME 2
Tyrone Biggums Classroom Visit vs Zapped

GAME 3
Dave's iMac Commercial vs BYE

-Bellingham Region-

GAME 1
The Wayne Brady Show vs Black Bush

GAME 2
Tyrone Biggums - Fear Factor vs Greatest Misses - Haters in Time

GAME 3
Making the Band vs BYE

-Tokyo Region-

GAME 1
A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon - Injury vs A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon - Flying

GAME 2
True Hollywood Stories - Rick James vs Tron Carter's Law & Order

GAME 3
The Racial Draft vs Samuel L. Jackson Beer

GAME 4
True Hollywood Stories - Prince vs BYE

-Hellen Keller Region-

Game 1
Lil Jon in Love vs Pixie Stereotypes - Hispanic Pixie

Game 2
Pixie Stereotypes - White Pixie vs Pixie Stereotypes - Asian Pixie

MVP Discussion

Kobe vs Lebron

So this is an ongoing debate in the sports world, so I thought I'd break down what exactly makes an NBA MVP.


Scoring:
Kobe. I'll be real with it, if you shoot as much as this guy did in his career, you better be the best shooter in the league. Career-long ball hog is a big understatement. But keep in mind that Lebron sat out most of the 4th quarters during the past year due to the fact that he would build up such a lead in the previous 3 quarters. Get at me!


Passing:
Lebron


Rebounding:
Lebron

Defense:
Lebron


Entertaining:
Lebron


Raping:
Kobe


Shoes:
Toss Up


Team Mates:
Kobe

Team Mate:
Lebron

Verdict:
Looks like Lebron gets it. And I'll leave you with this final question. If Kobe and Lebron switched teams who would have more success? Lebron obviously could win a Championship with the Lakers, but Kobe would struggle to make it over 500 with the Cavs line up. It is going to be an interesting upcoming season now that the Cavs finally have a center.

-Out

Signs for a divorce

I almost put this image, but I feel like pukin everytime I see it.

On this special segment (or debate rather) on marriage counseling we ask Doctor Haik when is a good indicator on when to call it quits.


"If she lets you cum in her face or if she swallows your semen, that's not wifey material!" (not a direct quote)

Now Dr. Haik's expert reasoning behind this conclusion is based on "inconclusive" evidence of degradation to the female partner. I do not debate that these acts do have the possibility of degrading one, if not both, partners, but I do not believe either case to always be the outcome. I don't believe ALL husbands point a loaded gun and a loaded (hopefully their own, but that might not always be the case) penis at their wife's face and tell them which one they would prefer to be shot in the face with. I think it's more important to look at the motives behind these acts, rather than strictly the end product.


So why is it that bukkake (semen ejaculated into the partner's face) or swallowed through the mouth even occurs? My assumptions are that
A) At least one of the partners enjoys the act
B) the act will be fully reciprocated if it hasn't yet already been
C) one partner is doing it to please the other partner
D) for filming purposes
E) monetary or some other sort of personal gain or
F) they didn't want to be shot in the face with a loaded gun.

Whatever the case might be, I don't think it's worth destroying a marriage (or possible marriage) over. I think it's much better that it's her husband's member, instead of another man's.


When I asked the esteemed Doctor Haik if this rules out the possibility of the husband receiving blowjobs, he quickly responded "of course not" (maybe not as confident an answer as that, but somewhere along the lines of a "no"). Now this puzzled me a bit. I find the act of having a penis in the mouth degrading already, and I feel that this instance is more of an all or nothing. (Either though you can swallow penal secretions of the sexual nature without having it penetrate your mouth, but what fun is that? (I wouldn't know, I'm just saying))


Personally if my wife is still down for going down years into the marriage, than I know I found a down as chick that will ride til the end. And as long as she riding with me (or just riding me) and only me, I have no complaints. Hell, I might even go deep sea diving. (But probably not, unless she gone and scorched the earth). And I know the last comment might seem a bit unfair, but of course I am an equal opportunity type of guy. By no means do I expect wifey to go down and give me fellatio as though it was an expectation of the marriage (or even dating) contract, but if she is a willing participant, signs the trifecta (permission form, love contract, and confidentiality agreement), has 2 forms of government id, with a police officer there, like 4 or 5 of my buddies and lew taking notes, and her ex boyfriend there to confirm the identity, than I will gladly submit to her requests. And if she is shy about her skills in this department, let her know I am the coach of the year, and I will stay late to help her practice. (Don't get ideas, not on another dude).


*Note: if you have no idea what I am talking about, watch the following 2 videos:

Chappelle's Show
Love Contract
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

Chappelle's Show
Celebrity Trial Jury Selection
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

-skip to the R Kelly section at about 3:00.


So remember, it's all good until someone gets hurt, so I will leave you with the following:


Don't know why there's a little white boy. So I will bring it back to a more likely scenario (for me at least). And no, not a god damn anime character.

The Bookie

Marriage

Lew 1/2
Al 3/1
James 9/1
Andrew 12/1
Dex 15/1
Haik 25/1

Kids
Dex 1/2
Haik 3/1
Jams 6/1
Al 10/1
Andrew 15/1
Lew 30/1

The Chappelle Tournament - Round 2

-Kirkland Region-

GAME 1
Trading Spouses vs And-1 Mixtape

GAME 2
Make-a-Wish vs Fisticuff

GAME 3
R. Kelly's "Piss on You" Music Videos vs Real Movies - Deep Impact

GAME 4
Blackzilla VS Life Like a Video Game

GAME 5
Tyrone Biggums Crack Intervention vs Real Movies - Half Baked

GAME 6
The Playa Hater's Ball vs BYE

-Los Angeles Region-

GAME 1
Jedi Sex Scandal vs Real Movies - The Matrix

GAME 2
The Dave Chappelle Story vs The Mad Real World

GAME 3
Roca Pads vs Real Movies - Pretty Woman

GAME 4
Inside Chappelle's Show Studio vs Great Moments in Hook-Up History

GAME 5
Wu-Tang Financial

-Durham Region-

GAME 1
Reparations 2003 vs Nat King Cole Christmas

GAME 2
Crazy Camera vs Real Sex Street Interview

GAME 3
Frontline - Clayton Bigsby vs Tyrone Biggums Classroom Visit

GAME 4
Zapped vs Roots Outtakes

GAME 5
Dave's iMac Commercial

-Bellingham Region-

GAME 1
The World Series of Dice vs The Wayne Brady Show

GAME 2
Celebrity Trial Jury Selection vs Black Bush

GAME 3
Dave Gets Oprah Pregnant vs Tyrone Biggums - Fear Factor

GAME 4
Greatest Misses - Haters in Time vs Kneehigh Park

GAME 5
Making the Band

-Tokyo Region-

GAME 1
When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong - Brenda Johnson vs A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon - Injury

GAME 2
When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong - Vernon Franklin vs A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon - Flying

GAME 3
Love Contract vs True Hollywood Stories - Rick James

GAME 4
Tron Carter's Law & Order vs Tyrone Biggums - Red Balls Energy Drink

GAME 5
Better in Slow Motion vs The Racial Draft

GAME 6
WacArnold's vs Samuel L. Jackson Beer

GAME 7
True Hollywood Stories - Prince

-Hellen Keller Region-

Game 1
Dave Meets Show Business: P. Diddy vs Lil Jon in Love

Game 2
Pixie Stereotypes - Hispanic Pixie vs Black Howard Dean

Game 3
Dave Gets Revenge, Pt 2 vs Pixie Stereotypes - White Pixie vs

Game 4
Pixie Stereotypes - White Pixie, Pt 2 vs Dave Gets Revenge

Game 5
Dave Gets Revenge, Pt 3 vs Pixie Stereotypes - Asian Pixie

The Cool Kids - Black Mags

Most cats be rappin about skateboardin, but the cool kids go with the bike route. I'll rep that.

And the beat is sick! I'm feelin the black and white look and overall feeling (no homo) of the video.

"My bike's illegal illegal, so they sent for the law"
How the fuck can a bike be illegal? Haha.

And they need to step up the girls in the vid, other than that, solid!

Amazing Motivational Speaker

Because everyone needs a little motivation from time to time.
http://www.getyourbasketballon.com/home/index.html#/smith