The Great Venues of Kirkland and the Greater Seattle Area

(I wrote this post a while back but check it out.)

So ur boi has been privileged absolutely privileged to spend the last week or so in k-town. Needless to say, he has no idea how someone can live here. Beyond the shady characters , who we all know and love, the places to go to our shitty. Prolly the highlight of the trip so far has been watching the Deion Sanders show on Oxygen. Yeah, I fucking said it. Oxygen. But the show is hilarious check it out. But I’m going to go thru some of my favorite venues in k-town.
First up is Time Out, the place I went to last night. Time Out is a typical bar in downtown k-town with pool tables and a lil dance floor. The fucked up thing is that prolly 90 percent of the dudes there are on steroids. These dudes have hair growing on their dicks. These motherfuckers look like they went to the tanning salon, then 24 hour fitness, chugged some muscle milk, and then fucking jogged to Time Out. The girls there are hot but ma’s look real fake. No doubt , anal first night. But not really the friendliest bunch.


Next up will be Fremont. We went there last Friday. Shit was pretty cool. There were lots of places to go. People seemed a lot more normal and there was a dude selling hot dogs on the street with cream cheese on them, no homo. The only issue that night was that we had the winner of Iron Chief with us. That’s right Matt “marinate yo ass” Po. When we pick Matt up, I am informed by him and Lew that Mattew’s mother would be willing to drive us there and pick us up. So of course I’m all down but we decided to ditch Mrs. Po (she prolly ended up getting slammed by Mr. Po anyways) and head off to Fremont.


Matt is born with a gift. It is not something you can acquire, but it is something etched into your DNA when the sperm meets the egg. That gift is to kill you buzz. Lewie was the first to make this observation. After Matt had shared his gift with us and decimated a conversation, Lew said have you guys ever heard of the character on family guy called Buzz Killington. Well I’ve met the real life version.


I will end my venues with a place dear to my heart. Teriyaki Plus, T-Plus, TP called by few. I really couldn’t bring myself to go to the establishment in March after hearing that some soulless bastards had bought the place prolly with money that they got from whoring out there mother and daughters and changed the food. I mean TP has a deep history with me. It is where Lew would tell me everything that Haik told him not to say, classic Lew. Anyways, I decided to try it out and with an open mind. I decided to give it a chance. First of all, the chicken bowl on the lunch menu was 4.99 with no drink. I almost slapped the bitch behind the counter. Whatever, I’m here and got it. Then I had some of the food. Want to toss that shit all over the floor. Like pour my fucking food out on the floor little by little so that I could get little rice and broke ass chicken all over the fucking restaurant.

One Love.