Signs for a divorce

I almost put this image, but I feel like pukin everytime I see it.

On this special segment (or debate rather) on marriage counseling we ask Doctor Haik when is a good indicator on when to call it quits.


"If she lets you cum in her face or if she swallows your semen, that's not wifey material!" (not a direct quote)

Now Dr. Haik's expert reasoning behind this conclusion is based on "inconclusive" evidence of degradation to the female partner. I do not debate that these acts do have the possibility of degrading one, if not both, partners, but I do not believe either case to always be the outcome. I don't believe ALL husbands point a loaded gun and a loaded (hopefully their own, but that might not always be the case) penis at their wife's face and tell them which one they would prefer to be shot in the face with. I think it's more important to look at the motives behind these acts, rather than strictly the end product.


So why is it that bukkake (semen ejaculated into the partner's face) or swallowed through the mouth even occurs? My assumptions are that
A) At least one of the partners enjoys the act
B) the act will be fully reciprocated if it hasn't yet already been
C) one partner is doing it to please the other partner
D) for filming purposes
E) monetary or some other sort of personal gain or
F) they didn't want to be shot in the face with a loaded gun.

Whatever the case might be, I don't think it's worth destroying a marriage (or possible marriage) over. I think it's much better that it's her husband's member, instead of another man's.


When I asked the esteemed Doctor Haik if this rules out the possibility of the husband receiving blowjobs, he quickly responded "of course not" (maybe not as confident an answer as that, but somewhere along the lines of a "no"). Now this puzzled me a bit. I find the act of having a penis in the mouth degrading already, and I feel that this instance is more of an all or nothing. (Either though you can swallow penal secretions of the sexual nature without having it penetrate your mouth, but what fun is that? (I wouldn't know, I'm just saying))


Personally if my wife is still down for going down years into the marriage, than I know I found a down as chick that will ride til the end. And as long as she riding with me (or just riding me) and only me, I have no complaints. Hell, I might even go deep sea diving. (But probably not, unless she gone and scorched the earth). And I know the last comment might seem a bit unfair, but of course I am an equal opportunity type of guy. By no means do I expect wifey to go down and give me fellatio as though it was an expectation of the marriage (or even dating) contract, but if she is a willing participant, signs the trifecta (permission form, love contract, and confidentiality agreement), has 2 forms of government id, with a police officer there, like 4 or 5 of my buddies and lew taking notes, and her ex boyfriend there to confirm the identity, than I will gladly submit to her requests. And if she is shy about her skills in this department, let her know I am the coach of the year, and I will stay late to help her practice. (Don't get ideas, not on another dude).


*Note: if you have no idea what I am talking about, watch the following 2 videos:

Chappelle's Show
Love Contract
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

Chappelle's Show
Celebrity Trial Jury Selection
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

-skip to the R Kelly section at about 3:00.


So remember, it's all good until someone gets hurt, so I will leave you with the following:


Don't know why there's a little white boy. So I will bring it back to a more likely scenario (for me at least). And no, not a god damn anime character.